


Safe Places and Soft Faces

by woshua



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Canon Era, First Relationships, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Slow Burn, two gay boys figuring out the world and their place in it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 16:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7394773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woshua/pseuds/woshua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Though he did not know the word for it, Ernst Robel had known he was gay since he was thirteen.</p><p>Hanschen Rilow hoped Ernst was gay. There had to be at least a chance that the boy he liked would like him back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'll Walk With You

**Author's Note:**

> this first chapter is a bit short, but i promise there will be more soon!

Though he did not know the word for it, Ernst Robel had known he was gay since he was thirteen. However, he knew that no one else could know, they wouldn’t understand. For the most part, he had no problems keeping his feelings a secret. Even to the point of creating a fake fantasy. If he told enough people he wanted to be a preacher with a lovely wife, maybe he’d believe himself.

Gym class was always the worst for him. Showering with the boys tested him with a temptation he did not want to think about. He hoped he could ignore those feelings, that for at least a little while he could feel normal. There was no one to tell Ernst that he was normal.

Hanschen Rilow hoped Ernst was gay. There had to be at least a chance that the boy he liked would like him back. He knew the chances were slim. He knew no one would admit they were gay, especially not Ernst, when they risked the chance of being excommunicated. So, he would have to find out a different way.

“I’ll walk with you Ernst,” he said smoothly. “We’ll huddle over the homer,” he paused to look Ernst over while he gathered his books, “Maybe do a little Achilles and Patroclus.” 

So, they walked. Hanschen led Ernst to a vineyard. Church bells tolled in the distance and Ernst smiled at him, all bright eyed and innocent. He gave a slight smile back and sat down, gesturing for the taller boy to do the same. They did their homework together in a comfortable silence, excluding occasional questions. Every once in awhile, Ernst would catch Hanschen looking at him and smiling, which made his face redden and his heart flutter. 

As the sun began to set, each boy headed home. They promised each other that they’d study together more. Ernst refused to acknowledge how excited this promise made him.


	2. Familiar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Studying with Hanschen has become part of Ernst's daily life.

Two weeks later, the boys had been meeting every day after school. Each looked forward to their time in the vineyard. 

To Ernst, it began to feel safe. He could actually be himself around Hanschen. It was a nice change of pace. On Friday of the second week, he brought a painting he was proud of. He kept his art secret from everyone, but for once he didn’t have to. 

“Ernst, this is beautiful,” Hanschen looked at the painting in awe. The small canvas portrayed a field of flowers, bright yellows, blues, and pinks popped out and he could hardly believe the piece wasn’t professional. “I had no idea you could paint like this.” He resisted the urge to kiss the taller boy. He didn’t know yet what the response would be, and risking it would not be a good idea. 

“Oh, thank you, Hanschen!” Ernst felt his face warm up. Compliments always did that to him, especially from cute blonde b- he needed to stop thinking like that. Hanschen may be kind to him, but he would not appreciate Ernst thinking about him in such a way. He frowned and shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

“Is something on your mind?” Hanschen noticed how Ernst was less talkative than usual. He normally talked his ear off every time they went up there. 

“Oh, no, I’m fine! I’m just thinking about the Latin homework,” Ernst lied, rubbing the back of his neck. He pulled out his Latin book. “Let’s get started?” 

Hanschen shrugged, he wouldn’t force Ernst to talk. He pulled out his book as well and moved closer to Ernst so they could work together. If he sat so close their legs were pressed together, no one needed to know that was on purpose. 

Ernst noticed their proximity, of course, but he didn’t protest. It would just be awkward to mention it. Plus, Hanschen was probably only doing it so that he could see what Ernst was writing. It made sense, the other boys would probably do the same. Right?

Hours later, their study session came to a close. Ernst felt he understood Latin a bit better and Hanschen felt he understood Ernst a bit better. 

“Thank you for helping me, Hanschen!” Ernst appreciated both the time he spent with the blonde, and the knowledge he gained. 

“It’s not a problem at all. School just wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t there. I look forward to seeing you Monday.” He reached out to shake Ernst’s hand, as they usually did at the end. 

Without thinking, Ernst hugged him instead. Though surprised, Hanschen hugged back. Both realized this would become a regular occurrence.

**Author's Note:**

> ok this is the first fic im actually publishing. a big thanks to haschen for encouraging me to write!


End file.
